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All Moms should be Stay at Home Moms PDF Print E-mail
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I am very fortunate to have the opportunity to be a stay at home mom. Ever since I thought about having kids I wanted to be the one to raise them. I did not want my children to be in the daycare system. I truly enjoy motherhood and all it has to offer. I would not trade places with anyone. My children are my life and it is my job to make sure they grow up to be responsible adults.

 

My husband supports our family by working two jobs and loves the fact that our kids are in my care all day everyday. I have read horror stories online about daycare providers who abuse children physically and even sexually. There was no way I was going to subject my kids to that possibility if I didn't have to.  Not to mention, the cost of daycare for more than one child is outrageous. I would be working only to cover the cost of having both my children in daycare. What's the point?

I don't trust that anyone can do a better job parenting my children than I can. I know of some working moms who could not wait to get back to work and put their kids off on someone else. What's the point of becoming a parent if you're only spending a couple of hours or less each day with your children?  I understand being a mom is not an easy job but we put our kids in this world so we should be responsible for their upbringing.

stay-at-home-momI would hate to worry whether my kids are being treated okay and hoping nothing bad happens to them. No stranger is going to care about the well being of our children. They are only there to get a paycheck and are overworked taking care of countless kids. Often times they take their problems out on the innocent children left in their care. I do not spank my children and would go ballistic if someone laid a hand on them.

My neighbor's son attends daycare. I swear that poor boy is always sick. He constantly catches every bug that is spread from child to child. His mother is always taking days off of work to take care of him. Her husband makes very good money, she even said she does not need to work but chooses to anyways. On numerous occasions she made comments to me wondering how I handle taking care of two kids when she can't handle her one. I love motherhood and I would not give it up for the world. I truly believe it is what I was put on this Earth to do.

Eventually when my kids are older and in school I will go back to work. Whatever job I get it will have to work with my being able to be there in the morning to get the kids off to school and be home in time when they get out. 
 

Comments  

 
+2 #12 RE: All Moms should be Stay at Home Moms — nursejen 2011-06-09 06:51
Way to love your husband! Nothing like working him into an early grave. If your wages only pay for one child for daycare than I would suggest a substantial education before you go having any kids. Sorry but you sound like a very selfish wife and undereducated mother/woman. Hope for your children's sake, your husband sticks around because it sounds as if you could not care for your children without him.
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+2 #11 RE: All Moms should be Stay at Home Moms — Nicki 2011-03-30 16:54
Yes, let's all teach little girls that they are only there to be house maids and mommy's. Only boys can grow up to be happy and successful, and that they must rely on a man to do everything for them….

I admit there are those silly women who do need to spend more time at home bonding with the children or just not having kids, but this is the same with men. If you can't be there and provide don't have children.
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-1 #10 RE: All Moms should be Stay at Home Moms — Krissy 2011-02-02 18:25
Well, I do agree wholeheartedly with your post. I honestly think that we need a completely different way of life than what we are doing now.

While I'm not judging moms that work, because look at our society... it's hard to not work... and many men ARE shirking their responsibilitie s.

However, that being said... there were a few years there where my husband and I were NOT getting along. Divorce looked very likely. I feel that we thankfully stuck with our original commitment and learned to re-appreciate each other and in the long run, love each other very deeply again.

But the main motivation was to give our kids security and honor the vows we made... it wasn't because we WANTED to stay together... we just made the commitment to make it work, and without holding grudges or being selfish.

So, here we are, raising three kids... they are home schooled. Much of our marriage, my husband has held two jobs or overtime... and I have worked on and off as well as currently. I babysit about 20-30 hours weekly….God I pray that we can continue to do our best, and we DO believe this is best for our kids... but we know it's not what most people do.

A working mom is very capable of being involved and loving her kids... but you know, I have noticed there ARE those moms that I think would take back motherhood in a heartbeat if it didn't make them look like a monster.... sad huh? But, then, I've known stay home moms that are similar... want nothing to do with their kids...
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+1 #9 Must Be Nice — timewilltell 2011-02-01 19:03
I would love and would have loved to be able to stay home with my son, but unfortunatly I live in the real world. I am not disputing that having a child/children in daycare is expensive and can get to the point that it counter productive, but some people simply don't have the option.

Fortunately my son is older and is able to stay with my mom, who was always a stay at home mom. In his very young years he did go to daycare and although it was was not always seemless, it was what I had to do at the time. I would have liked to stay home with him mainly because I think it would have made it possible to do more of those activities that I appreciated as a child: room mom, field trips, being at bus stop, etc.

But just because I work does not mean I do not participate. I don't think most women go to work to get some kind of free pass. In reference to children getting sick, yes more exposure does increase the potential for spreading germs, but there is a lot of benefit to exposing your kids to other children and environment that is not 100% parent.

There is no way you can cram the amount of social skills that children learn when having to cooperate with each other in a neutral environment. You also cannot expose them to the different cultures and education that most qualified day care centers are able to. Yes there are sleezy daycares out there, but typically as a parent you can determine those circumstances prior to an issue.

You said your husband works 2 jobs, that must also be nice. Not that you are sitting around all day but have you done the research to determine if you were financially contributing if he could quit one of those jobs and free up some of his time to spend with his kids.

I think it is great for you, you seem to have found a system that works for you but us "working" moms are not absent parents. Also one last thing to think about your children will not be children forever and working can have benefits for you as a person. At work I am able to maintain real world skills that will potentially help my child as he ages, if I stayed home, would I be able to help him with an excel spread sheet or teach him how to use Microsoft office? Probably not.
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+2 #8 Part-Time — Guest 2011-01-07 21:12
It should never be a black and white argument.

After I had my son, my husband gave me the option to stay at home. Well, the idea was great but it also put strain on our relationship. He was working two jobs and was never home for our son. When he was home, he was tired. I felt so bad for him, I decided go back to my old job but only part time and he was able to quit his second job.

My husband and I decided on this happy medium because I was able to keep a steady work history but at the same time our son would not have to spend 50 hours in daycare. At the moment I work 9-2 and my husband works 3-12. So in the mornings while I'm at work, my son is with his father and in the afternoon he is with me.

While our situation is unique and might not work for everyone, we are extremely happy with it. I am not depending on my husband's sole financial support and also my husband is spending quality time with our son.

So I encourage you to find something other than being a SAHM. Build up your work history by finding a part-time job, if not for job experience then for social security. If this does not suit you, find a volunteer organization that will let you take your kids with you.

My point is that it is NOT a black and white situation and you as a woman who LOVES her kids has to be prepared for the "what-ifs" in life. Hope this made some sense :-)
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0 #7 I agree with you but........ — eula 2011-01-06 02:57
I felt the same way you do. I chose to be a stay at home mom. My husband earned a very good wage so it wasn't necessary to have a second income. My career was raising a family and I enjoyed it. After 25 years of marriage my husband left me for his highschool sweetheart. I have no work experience outside of the home and now struggle every day to keep a roof over my head. Take some night classes and get a skill that you can use to support yourself. You never know what the future holds for you. Be prepared!! Meanwhile enjoy raising your family .Stay at home moms are a dying breed and that is sad.
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+3 #6 Moms — Guest 2010-12-06 10:19
I find your post to be very judgemental and ignorant. My mother was a working mother, and she took the time to see me in school plays, participate in school parties, and even come to my school to give me gifts on my birthday. Just because a mother works doesn't make her an unfit mother. I think you shouldn't be so judgemental, otherwise your children will grow up to be ignorant and judgemental, too.
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+5 #5 Re: All moms should be SAHMs/Ivory Towers Can Fall — Guest 2010-09-10 06:43
I find your statements judgmental and in some cases totally without merit. First of all anyone who is naive enough to believe that a woman (especially a mother) can completely depend upon a man is in for a big surprise.

A real woman is capable of earning a living for herself if necessary for her children. Events happen in this life that are not under our control, illness, death, divorce, job loss, you name it, it can happen.

My mother was a "working mom" and my sister and I did just fine, thank you very much. We both are college graduates, I have a career and kids. She chose to be a SAHM for now, which is fine with me. But, she still could take care of herself and children if the need arose because she was a "realist" before she was a mom.

In regards to daycares/childcare providers, etc. there are excellent ones and there are those places that just want to make $$$. Truly responsible parents do their "homework" before placing their children in any situation not just childcare ones. But far too many parents are looking for convenience and affordability and unfortunately some parents (not just mothers) don't have a choice when it comes to the financial issues.

Behavioral and other problems and other issues cannot be laid on the doorstep of childcare providers/daycares. Parents are completely responsible for their kids behavior, attitude towards education, physical welfare,etc. I know plenty of kids when I was one who had SAHMs and they ran the neighborhood unsupervised, sat like zombies in front of the Tv, and snacked on junk food almost constantly. So, don't hold all SAHMs up as paragons of virtue and run down all daycares/childcare because that is only biased opinion and not facts.
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+4 #4 I wish I had that oppurtunity — Guest 2010-09-07 12:42
You are speaking of a dream that many woman wish they could be living. Unfortunately I have to work at a minimum wage job just to keep a roof over our heads. I am single with two children. You shouldn't be so quick to pass judgment on working mothers. We don't all have supportive men working two jobs to give us such a blessing.

You should not all be so quick to pass judgement on moms that can't be home with their kids. I work full time and spend every evening and weekend with my kids. I do not have a man to pay the bills. Although I would give anything to stay home with my kids. I have to make the best of the situation and show them that we have to work for a roof over our head.
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+4 #3 Are you serious? — Guest 2010-09-05 17:20
This just goes to show how ignorant people can be. Some moms aren't as lucky as you. Some, like me, are single mothers and have no choice but to work. The daycare system has taught my children so much and they even have an educational curriculum in order to teach my children besides playing throughout the day. And not once have they gotten sick from their daycare. Reality is mothers do have to work.
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