He has had years where it really felt every day was an argument with him not being able to complete his homework: he has left his homework at school, stated he completed it when he had not, or just filled in bogus answers to make it look complete. The problem is he has also had times where there has been no issues, everything was taken care of and nothing but positive reviews from his teacher.

Through the good and bad years he has also typically maintained honor roll or close to it. This has led me to believe that my bias could be somewhat correct. If one teacher is able to motivate a child however another is not it cannot simply be that child. I have had all and out fights with my husband (not his biological father), his father, and my parents about the protective stance I have taken on defending him over the years.

They have all claimed that I am too soft and that my son is manipulating me, however I remember "those teachers" that I had and see similarities to some of the issues that I see with his teachers. Unfortunately with him just as with myself, he's been able to coast through school with little effort. As an adult now I see all the opportunity that was missed by such behavior, however I think it is one of those life lessons that cannot really be taught.

The latest issue I have had is what has brought me to this forum. Recently my son missed a Friday to go out of town, planned however over the weekend he got ill, so he was then out of school Monday and Tuesday unplanned. I work full time and don't get home until 7:30, by then he has 3 hours to do any homework that he has been assigned. He also goes to my parents house directly after school. These are the people that raised me they should remember the hell I put them through, even if a little older. But somehow he convinces them that he has none. I know it is not their fault, but they are not invalids they are still in their early 60's and competent.

Then my husband picks him up and brings him home, another hour goes by the time I get home. By the time I get home no one is fed, so I have to cook dinner and do other household chores. I know it is not an excuse but at this point whether he has done his homework is really not on my mind.

He has been through 3 other adults by the time he sees me, but of course I am his mother so all responsibility falls on me. Well anyway getting back to the point, I had been asking him on and off if he had completed the school work he missed and received vague responses. This morning I get him up to send him off to school and he breaks down that he has not completed the work and that he will fail a quiz and test today if he goes to school.

Here is where my dilemma came in. The mother part of me splits completely in two...he has had all weekend and even a Monday holiday and has not completed it. However, he has at the 11th hour also come clean and asked for repentance. I immediately think what is the best lesson to be learned here, responsibility or knowing that no matter what you can come to your parent?

I allowed him to stay home again, on the condition that he completes all of his work. I am off today so I was able to supervise and then I made him write a letter to me, my husband, his father and my parents about how he will never allow something like this to happen again. I also required him to put a sign on the fridge that he has promised himself that he will never allow this to happen again.

So he we are, it's 5:30 he is in his room on moderate lock down. No TV and no games however he can interact with us and watch TV with us if he wants. I am not really certain that even though it was probably a totally unorthodox parental decision that it was a bad decision. My hope is that he will eventually realize that he is only hurting himself and that when it is important he will know that he can come to me.