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Love of my life = Deadbeat sperm donor PDF Print E-mail
Story by mommy_g
Parenting

 
I am currently 23 years old and 32 weeks pregnant…I thought I had found the love of my life in a 36 year old man. At first he wooed me with words, because when we met he didn't have a job, a house or a vehicle. I found him a job and took him to and from work everyday.(the job is an hour's drive away)

 

Well shortly after we started dating we broke up and I found out I was pregnant...after 2 months of arguing and fighting, he came to me telling me he loves me and wants me back and wants to be there for me and our child.

In December, when I was almost 6 months pregnant I get a text message saying he's breaking up with me and that was it. Come to find out he had only gotten back with me because I was supporting him and buying him everything. He was using my truck while I was supposed to be on bed rest. Also I found out he was cheating on me with someone that we had known mutually who knew that I was pregnant and we were together…To top it all off he even had me drop him off at her shop saying he was gonna do a side job for her but he wound up getting high, smoking weed and doing speed.

deadbeat-dadSince then he has done nothing but threatened to take my daughter just to spite me and has threatened to kill her. He's given me a black eye as a warning to stop telling everyone he is the dad and to not file for child support.

I was scared for a while that I was gonna have to share my daughter with him, but karma is on my side. Just last week he was arrested for endangering his 4 year old son by having him on a motorcycle. He was doing 45mph in a 25mph zone in a residential area while trying to evade the police and then crashed into a parked car/chain link fence. Luckily his son was okay, but now he sits in jail.

I honestly don't know what I was thinking getting involved with him. To this day he owes me $300 and my grandfather $200...you can honestly never trust anyone.
 

Comments  

 
0 #6 The word deadbeat — Sandra S 2011-06-16 23:42
The word deadbeat dad or mom needs to be redefined. I am a mom that lost her children because I worked two jobs to make ends meet. Now I am unemployed due to health issuses. My ex has told my kids that it's my fault every time they want something and can't have it. He only wanted the kids for the child support. But I learned this lesson the hard way, loving your child is more important than the money. The kids need you more than they need all the top fads.
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0 #5 thank you ladies — mommy_g 2011-03-14 00:55
I am lucky to have a good support system. I have an amazing family & set of friends who already adore my daughter & take good care of me right now. I'm still even in contact with his family, whom I was close with before we even met. I'm just hoping that he will want to at least see her, cause he has a 4 year old son (who still calls me mom when he see me) that he sees on the weekends & he's garnished for child support on his son.
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+1 #4 10 Years Later... — Jen 2011-03-09 06:30
My son is 10 years old and his father has not been involved in his life at all. I'm writing as a warning what to also expect for the future.

Not only do I not have the luxury of having a supportive family as well as an absent father for my son. He owes me over $55,000 in child support that I have no hope of ever receiving. As soon as he gets a job that Friend of Court finds out about, he quits before his wages are garnished. Motions for show cause are requested by me that he never appears for, only for a bench warrant to not be issued, because he well then requests the court a modification hearing to change the amount he owes me per week. I can count on one hand the amount of payments I receive.

Fortunately, though, I love me son and he is the driving factor for me to be successful in life. Things ALWAYS work out just as long as YOU make them work. It's tough always being the person saying "no", but, it's awesome when a "yes" is given and you see the happiness in your child's eyes

Just ALWAYS stay positive no matter what, and I know that you and your family will be happy and content as mine is.
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+1 #3 deadbeat scum — Elana 2011-03-08 13:35
I know how you feel. My oldest son, who just turned 9 years old is from my ex. I'm happily married now but with 2 more precious babies. My husband adores all 3 of my kids.

But my ex... well, he's a piece of crap. I'm 27-almost 28. I met my ex and got pregnant when I was 17, he was 23. I should have known better but I blame it on my age. We went back and forth for 4 1/2 yrs. He never did much of anything with my son. Then when I decided to finally end it, he filed for full custoday saying I was an unfit mother.

All of this was to spite me. He eventually dropped it but then refiled for visitation and I settled out of court. He agreed to pay child support. Then after about a year and a half, I found out his wife was mistreating my son so I told him he would not be going back around her.

The day after my phone confrontation with him he decided he would no longer see him. Well, he paid child support off and on, but about 7 months ago he quit paying all together. He's around 3,000 dollars behind. I will pursue it, it's court ordered.

My point is, don't let him get away without paying you child support. He's a worthless piece of crap and needs to step up and take care of his responsibilitie s. Take care and I wish the best for you and your child.
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+1 #2 deadbeat has a similar tone... — Sel 2011-02-28 14:31
As I sat here and read your story, it really has the same tone as the one I experienced so many years ago with my son's sperm donor. He too was a loser, always had the right words to say.

It took me time to see the light and get him out of my life! Looking back it's the best thing I did. My son keeps in touch with him out of pity - however, does NOT call him dad/pop/father. He knows the type of person (not man) he is and has absolutely no respect for him.

To remove yourself from this leech is a grand idea...you and your child will grow together with such a bond. Blessings to you and your baby!! Keep strong!!
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+4 #1 deadbeat — Chloe 2011-02-27 13:13
Move on because he is a user and you and your baby deserve better.
He's violent and will most likely hurt you and your baby if you allow him back in your life. He already threatened to kill the baby, keep him away from you guys.

He's also old enough to know better then to put a small child on the back of a motorcycle. That only shows how irresponsible he is. Get a restraining order against him and go after child support…don't allow him to be a deadbeat dad.
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