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Unloving Dad, Depressed Mom PDF Print E-mail
Story by angel2011
Parenting

 
I started dating this guy back in April of 2010 and after a few months we decided to have sex. When it came to the protection talk we both knew we were clean but there was the talk about children and me being so fertile. At the time we both agreed that IF I were to get pregnant we were both ready even though we had started dating months before. We decided against protection. In August of 2010, I found out I was pregnant and due in April of 2011. We immediately got a place together and things were looking great.

 

Kenneth proposed to me and I agreed to marry him. It seemed like it would be like a fairy tale ending until a few days before our son was born. Suddenly he decided he wasn't ready when the doctor told us to come in on the 8th to be induced. Well, I had our son April 8th and since I've brought him home everything has been hell. Kenneth rarely helps with our son now. Most days the best interaction he gets with our baby is talking to him while I change him. I do everything for our baby. I go days without baths and get very little sleep. I stay at home with our son while Kenneth goes to work then comes home and pretty much spends all his time outside or on the computer then takes a shower, eats and goes to bed.

depressed-momWhen I ask him to watch the baby so I can get some rest on his days off he either complains until I change my mind and stay up or he takes our son then wakes me up every ten minutes to do this and that for him. Usually when I ask him to do things for the baby it turns into a fight and I end up doing it myself. But when I go days without asking him to do anything he complains I don't involve him enough and how it's his son. I can't get him to do anything for our son but when I ask my mom for help he complains that he doesn't want my mom helping. 

I'm starting to get depressed. I love my son and I don't mind doing everything for him but I'm starting to feel like I'm not wanted anymore. He makes me feel so low that some days when he's at work and the baby is asleep I just want to cry. He pays more attention to his dog than he does to our son and it upsets me. We fight so much and he threatens to kick me out and take our son away from me and I'm so scared he may be able to do that. 

I have past cps history where they came in and took my 4 other children and terminated my rights over my ex husband being a drug addict. That almost killed me. I never thought I would be able to live without them and with as much hurt as I have suffered losing my other babies I don't think I would be able to handle another loss. My children are my world and my son helped fill a huge gap in my heart. Sometimes I feel trapped and I know my depression is only going to get worse if I don't do something. I just don't know what to do. Is there any advice anyone can offer about what I should do?
 

Comments  

 
0 #1 It's going to be ok. — soulshine 2011-05-05 19:44
I know what you're going through. My husband was on drugs when I gave birth to my first born, Brennon. He would hardly get involved and he'd stay gone usually hanging out with his friends and lying to me. He couldn't hold a job and we got evicted out of every place we had to live. We separated a few times just because I couldn't handle the stress of it anymore and my son was getting older and living in an unstable environment was not at all healthy for him nor I.

I spent a lot of time just feeling alone and I repressed my feelings but there came a time when all I wanted was just to have my family together-for good. I began to pray for healing first of all in my life, my child's life, and most of all to heal my husband and set him free from his addictions and fears. I bought a book called "The Power of a Praying Wife" and I can tell you it gave me strength and encouraged me to press in and focus more on my husband's feelings instead of my own. But most of all I knew my prayers were being heard!

My husband has been set free and has an amazing bond with our son! It's not always easy, but it's worth it! I know sometimes it takes longer for some guys to mature and get the whole role of being a father, husband and provider down but with communication lines open, a willing heart and some patience-and with the help of the good Lord of course I believe anything is possible and worth a shot! I wish you and your family the best!
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