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Part-Time Parent PDF Print E-mail
Story by Beezy
Parenting

 
Let me start by saying, I'm a 21 year old single mother, I go to college full time, and I work around 30 hours a week. Now for the issue. Four years ago I met my daughter's father. I was still in high school and he was graduating. We were together for a year and a half before I decided I was unappreciated and was tired of being a live-in nanny. And I wasn't going to support him anymore.

 

The day I left him I threw up thinking it was nerves. Oh no, I was pregnant. That's what I get for trying to have a baby! We end up getting back together for another year and a half. I was still supporting him, he wouldn't find a job, ... really nothing changed so I thought it best to be a single mother, which was the best choice I could have made. I have been on my own now for 2 years, my daughter just turned 2. Her father pays child support and thinks he's a pretty good dad because of it. He lives 45 minutes away from me and sees his child only when I drive by his house to see my family. And even then, I am a sucker and pick him up and take him home. And that's only every 2-3 months.

mother-daughterAm I crazy for being a little ANGRY at him for finding rides to see his girlfriend, or to play basketball, or to go out of town for the weekend? But not to come see his child? I mean, every time he asks about his daughter (every two weeks or so) he says how much "he loves her and how she's his world. He wouldn't have a good job and support himself now if it weren't for her." Am I crazy for being mad at him for not taking my daughter every other weekend so I can have a break? I mean, she's 2 and he's never spent more than 2 hours at a time with her! I feel like I'm at my wits end. I know I can't make someone be a good parent, or a parent at all but I'm her only parent and it's not by choice. He once wanted to have his daughter, but now he has no ambition, or aspirations. And money from him doesn't mean they have a relationship. Oh, he gets mad that my daughter doesn't call him Daddy. Fancy that. All I'm asking is for every-other weekend. Is that too much? Just be a part-time parent.
 

Comments  

 
-1 #5 Who's immature? — Guest 2010-09-12 11:08
Quoting Bea:
He is still young though and since men mature slower than women...he might just get his act together one day and step up to the plate.


Honey when I was her age, I was up till three in the morning studying for a test in doing Fourier transforms, and other guys her age are out in some godforsaken valley in Afghanistan getting shot so you can sit there in front of your computer and b1tch about how immature men are. Sorry to sound rude but you need to shut up about men's maturity, the only problem is women lavishing their attention on pouts with cute as$es and ignoring the majority of men who are actually out there making something of their lives. Now I have to go back to work to pay for the "free" healthcare these single moms get from the government. I pay to raise children that I had no part in bringing into this world and you call me immature? You're the immature one, honey!
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-2 #4 You picked him honey! — Guest 2010-09-11 08:25
I guess his a$s must've looked good in those tight jeans huh. And you rejected all your smart male friends who wanted to date you because they weren't as good-looking and what would your girlfriends think? Well no sympathy here. You picked him honey, don't whine to us now about what a slug he is. Women are just dumb.
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+1 #3 Re:Part Time Parent — MaryLee 2010-08-21 08:08
I am going through a very similar situation with the father of my 2 yr. old son. Almost identical. I came to the conclusion that I cannot expect him to do anything. I used to get mad at him every time I was going through a hard time with my son, and he was off being a wanna be "rock star". Now, I have shed all expectations of him, and it has really cut down on the disappointment. My son's father doesn't even pay child support! You just might be in this alone, and while it is hard, it just might be the reality of it.
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+1 #2 re part time parent — Guest 2010-07-14 17:46
You are doing the right thing. My brother is a dead beat dad. He gets all emotional when it's his daughters birthday or fathers day, but he does nothing to be a dad. It's too expensive. Some guys just don't have a clue. Maybe your family can take her for a weekend to give you a break?
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0 #1 RE: Part-Time Parent — Guest 2010-07-05 18:21
Keep up the good job of being both mom and dad to your daughter. It sounds to me like he just isn't cut out for fatherhood.
He might grow up one day and realize what being a father really means...paying child support which is required by law does not qualify him as a good father.

He is still young though and since men mature slower than women...he might just get his act together one day and step up to the plate.
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