Life is supposed to be enjoyed, though there's no written rules to that. Some people go through life with their heads down, some like to keep their eyes to the skies. So what about those of us in between? The ones that don't quite fit in with life. It's awkward. We want to enjoy it but just can't. We don't care either way, going on with dull boredom every day and with each day that passes it gets seemingly more tedious. Seeking something to make us want to feel the thrill we call life...to own it, enjoy it...to dominate it, make it ours.

But yet because the way we are, we don't care enough to achieve that. Just letting life slip us by because we're not ambitious enough to grab a hold of it and fly. Staying grounded just looking ahead, waiting to see what comes. Not trying to build the way of our own future, just waiting. Waiting to watch it be built up around us, having no say what goes where, just letting it drop as it comes. Living day by day, some like it, some don't. To me, I think that it may be pretty boring in itself. I want to latch onto life and throw it upside down, turning it around, breaking it up then having to rebuild it from scratch. Paving the road to where I want to be, making sure I land in the right spot. The life I always wanted, the one I deserve. But like many, I just can't be bothered, I watch as the life I live, builds up around me. I have the power to stop it, but can't be bothered to use it. How sad is that?

What kind of life can you lead when you're not the one who built it? I envy those who have the will to lay the bricks of their own life...having fun, while still working hard, all because they know where they want to be. And so to make that possible they work at it, they sacrifice. Huh, wouldn't that be a great feeling in the end? Looking back at life thinking, "I really did that. I made that happen, so much work and I have a lifetime of memories and achievements to show for it" That's what I want for me, but I just can't seem to make it happen. So where can I find the strength to do this, by watching them as they enjoy and work at their own? I think not. I think I need to find the will within myself. Find the power to want to be able to stand by those people and build while they do, so I can look back without regret...