I'm so sorry to read about the tough time you are having. I am new to this site, but I think Bobi said it well...there are a lot of us out here who care about you. From what I've seen, people are willing to offer help and support to strangers...this world is a pretty good place sometimes :).

I can understand your fear of starting over, it is a very daunting task...but not impossible! You deserve a better life, and you have the ability to do it..it just takes some time and a lot of work...you just need to believe you can do it! I don't know ya, but I bet you can!

Have you talked to your family about your situation? Perhaps if they know how tough it is for you and the kids, they will offer the help you need...at this point, just a place to stay will get you started, and you can work the rest out much easier without the stress you're in now. If that isn't a workable option, contact a women's shelter. Forbidding you to work or have friends rates right up there with abuse, and I'm sure they will have plenty of information and support for you.

You're still young, and can get the life you want...please try to remember that. It's obvious this has already affected your kids...and none of you deserve this! It's scary to start over, but the sense of peace, safety and the idea that the kids can grow up in a happy and much less stressful environment will give you the motivation to do it! Strength and happy thoughts being sent your way...please let us know how you're doing!

I know you're scared to leave him but you should leave if he makes you miserable. Life is short, don't waste it on someone who clearly doesn't appreciate or deserve you. I'm sure a friend or family member would be willing to help you get out of that relationship.