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My wife wants a divorce PDF Print E-mail
Story by David
Relationships

 
I've never done this and I don't even know where to start. I met my wife 7 years ago at a local club. A little after we started talking she told me she had two kids. I met them and we clicked right away especially with her little girl. My wife and I dated for a couple of weeks and then we moved in together. Everything was fine for a few years and then she got pregnant with my first baby. I was so happy but she lost it and that almost killed her too because she got really sick. After a couple months she got pregnant again but once again she lost the baby and got sick. After a while we tried again and she lost it and on top of that she got really sick, to a point I thought I might lose her too.

 

We decided not to try again until she was fully recovered but I couldn't stop thinking about having my own baby. I love her kids to death, I really do but I want to experience being a dad to a baby. I decided I was going to have a kid on the side thinking everything was going to be ok but it wasn't. I started to talk to a girl and then my wife found out about her and we almost split up. I got so depressed I tried to kill myself. Thank God my wife showed up in time to stop me. I ended up in a mental institution for a couple of days for a psychological evaluation. After that I worked things out with my wife and I thought everything was fine. We had little fights here and there but nothing big a least that’s what I thought.

wife-wants-divorceA couple of weeks ago my genitals started to itch so I told my wife but I knew it was nothing serious. I haven't slept with anybody else but my wife, but she thought something different. My wife and I had sex and after that the itch became a rash and I couldn't stand the itchiness so I showed it to my wife. We went to a doctor to see what it was and it turned out to be just an allergic reaction to something. I just don't know what. The doctor prescribed a cream and after two days the rash was gone. My wife still didn't believe it was just a rash so she came to me a couple of days ago and dropped the bomb that she wants a divorce. I guess she never got over the fact that I almost cheated on her because she told me every time we fought, she remembers it and it's killing her.

I haven't been a really good husband to her. I pick on her and I don't support her on some of the stuff she does. So all that has been filling her glass to a point than she doesn't want to live with me anymore. The problem is I love her so much and her kids. Now they are mine too I raised them for 7 years. They are like my own and in their eyes I'm their daddy. I don't want to lose them but I don't know what to do. I don't want to keep hurting my wife anymore so I guess I have to change but my wife doesn't want to give me another chance. I don't know what to do. Should I fight for my wife or let her go? I just don't know. I'm living in hell right now. I feel so miserable without her I'm not ever hungry and I already lost 10 pounds in a week. I just have to be strong for my kids.
 

Comments  

 
0 #6 RE: My wife wants a divorce — chalabis 2011-08-08 05:06
If you love her....let her go...if she truly loves you she will be back! :-)
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+1 #5 RE: My wife wants a divorce — Reva 2011-07-30 09:46
You really messed up and it will take a miracle for your wife to take you back. Why didn't you just suggest adoption? I understand you want a kid of your own but you went about it the wrong way. Doesn't look very hopeful. Might as well move on with someone else.
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-1 #4 RE: My wife wants a divorce — ch915 2011-07-28 14:24
EVERYBODY makes mistakes. Including the people that commented above. If you truly love your wife, chase after her and beg her to give you another chance. If she truly loves you too, she will.
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+3 #3 So wrong! — Elise 2011-07-27 05:35
If you treated your wife well from the beginning I believe she might be more eager to forgive you. As far as what you planned…impregn ating someone just to have a baby, that was completely wrong and deceitful on your part. It's not your wife's fault she had miscarriages. These things sometimes happen and there are no explanations for it. No offense but I feel your wife can do better and she should proceed with the divorce.
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+1 #2 Listen to Thialee — Michael 2011-07-24 17:55
Thialee said it perfectly. There is not much I can add to these well thought out comments. What I can say is that in order to truly love someone (that is without expecting anything in return) you need to love yourself. Only then can you freely give yourself to the one you love. Get yourself together man. If you say you love her, then let her go. Once you are healed and become complete, then you can ask her to give you another chance. Until then, you will only hurt the ones you say you love (wife, children).
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+6 #1 Your wife needs a divorce — Thialee 2011-07-23 04:04
David, your way of showing love to your wife is not going to win her heart. How could you justify picking on someone that risked her life three times to give you a child? Then after all that, you selfishly sneak behind her back saying you want to be a Dad to a baby, with someone else? Come on, this woman sounds like a saint now. Why in the world would she want to stay married to a guy that is so self absorbed, selfish and that does stupid things?

Let her go! Grow up, apologize sincerely for all the stupid and mean spirited things you did. As a matter of fact, make a list of all the hurtful things you said and did. Do NOT worry about anything she did, you are only responsible for your behavior. Trying to kill yourself because you got caught is more of a tantrum than an act of self destruction. You also should go and talk to a professional that can help you get control of all of those childish thoughts, and behaviors.

Do you know what love is? Really? Can you even imagine a true, positive love, one that is supportive, helpful, kind, (kinder than the counter help at the store) doing more than your share because you want her to have a break, doing things without being asked, because they need to be done. If your wife had done the same thing that you did, picked on you, treated you poorly, would you want her back? How much fun do you think you are to live with? Stop worrying about you, how you feel, how much weight you have lost and turn things around. Exercise, eat right, take good care of yourself, write her a long, well written love letter by hand and send it in the mail.

Leave her alone, leave her kids alone, this must be HELL for them. You swore to God, the world, your friends and family to: love and honor her, to protect her, to forsake ALL others to death do you part. Now, list all the things you did that brought hurt and negativity into your home. Then make ammends without any expectations of a positive outcome. Stop being a selfish "all about you" person and heal, or try to heal her hurts. Good luck
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