I've been with my husband on and off for nearly seven years. We had problems in our marriage and got divorced but recently we got remarried and I was sure he had changed. My husband cheated on me numerous times in the past and I not only allowed it but I also accepted it. He walked all over me knowing I would not leave him. I am too afraid to leave him. Not because he'll hit me but because I can't stay away, it's as if I'm addicted to being abused. 

When my husband sees me crying he resorts to calling me names and treating me like I am totally beneath him. I'm afraid to talk to him about my feelings because I have no clue how he might react. He thinks I exaggerate things and I'm too sensitive. All he does is scream at me, says my feelings don't matter to him and he simply doesn't care. He has never been physically abusive until recently when he pushed me to the ground. He apologized saying he didn't know what took over him. I told him I would divorce him again and never look back if he ever did it again. He promised to never raise his hand to me ever again but only time will tell.

While in college, I took psychology courses and wrote papers on abuse, why can't I seem to take my own advice? At times I think if I ended my life things would be easier.