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My Mother, the Cougar PDF Print E-mail
Story by l2322
Relationships

 



I really need some advice and hope that someone can assist. By way of background, my parents have recently separated after 23 years of marriage. I am a college student who has been living with my mother for the final months of my degree. I have a brother who is 19 and a sister who is 17. I am 21. 

 

Without going into the details of my parent's separation (suffice to say my father is emotionally and physically abusive) my mother has since changed drastically. I expected that she at 53, would change without having my father around to monitor her actions and control her. What I did not expect was for my mother to start an affair with my brother's 19 year old best friend. My brother is in the army and when he's home his friends come to visit. Except my mother started to invite them over when he wasn't around as well. She would always tell me to go somewhere else (which was suspicious) and started to lie about where she was, who was coming over and she would become irate when I asked that these children leave. She told me that I was like my father (ie controlling) and that nothing was going on. The boys just needed a friend and saw her as a mother figure. Then I found her diary which outlined her actively trying to seduce my brother's best friend, her sleeping with him and writing that he is all she has ever cared about. I have financially supported my mother; been there emotionally and tried to help her with the fallout of divorce. She has told me that she hates me and accused me of destroying her sense of privacy (as I read her diary).

cougar-momI never wanted my brother to find out. I told him when the subject best friend asked him to hang out as though nothing was going on. My brother was willing to let things go as I had told him that my mother couldn't possibly still be doing it. I WAS WRONG. My mother called him yesterday and said that she was 'in love with him, couldn't help it' and some other bullsh*t. She lied to my face and said that there was nothing going on and never had been just two days before. Now she has kicked me out of the house.

What do I do? Should I forgive my mother for her actions and say that it is totally legitimate for a 19 and 53 year old to be seeing each other? Should I accept this new partner? Am I wrong for being disgusted by her actions? My brother wants nothing to do with her now and I am lost. What do I do?


 

Comments  

 
+1 #2 Cougar MomBobi1229 2011-11-05 17:51
Take care of yourself right now and maybe forever, mom isn't good for you.
I, as a mom, "Look so hot" as my daughter-in-law states and I'm asked out by way younger guys, flattering, but not for me.

My thoughts of what my children would feel if I dated a young guy, my children always came first in my single life. I'm still single and alone as the kids are now married & gone.

Your mom isn't thinking well. Forgive her, but move on and away, for you. Love & care about you first, she is not 1st, you are! Love you & prayers for you & yours.
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+2 #1 Cougar MomCynthia 2011-10-11 07:05
I think you should forgive your mother for her actions and realize she is going through somewhat of a mid life crisis. This boy she's involved with is just using her and before too long he will move on to someone else, most likely someone his own age. Just be there for her because she's only going to get hurt by your brother's friend and is going to need a shoulder to cry on.
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