Popular Stories
Newest Comments
- Why are Smokers so Inconsidera...
You're comparing apples and oranges. I can't stan... - Raising an Only Child
I have a brother & a sister & we all rarely speak ... - Found out Boyfriend is a Pedop...
I recently found in my boyfriend's computer childr...
| Mother in Law from Hell |
 |
 |
 |
| Relationships | ||
|
My husband Carl and I have been married nearly twenty years. We met at work and became good friends. It was clear to everyone around us that there was more between us so he asked me out on a “real date” and since then we have been inseparable. A year into dating, Carl asked me for my hand in marriage and I accepted. We had a small but nice wedding, just a few friends and family. Missing from our joyous occasion was my mother in law from hell. I know it made my husband sad but he went on with the day like it didn’t bother him. At least his father was there for us and I heard she wasn’t very happy about it and gave him a hard time afterwards. When Carl first introduced me to his mother I found her to be rude and insensitive. She invited us to dinner at her house and she ignored me the whole time. It was very uncomfortable and I couldn’t wait to leave. I was very polite and tried to make small talk but she dismissed my efforts and pretended like I wasn't even there. Once we left, he explained his mother is like that with everyone and I should not take it to heart. When she found out about our engagement she went ballistic. She thought I was pregnant and that was the only reason Carl was marrying me. I was not, we were madly in love and wanted to spend the rest of our lives together. His mother told him he was making a big mistake and it wouldn't last. Well, here we are still happily married and are about to celebrate our 20th wedding anniversary. Over the years I had little to no contact with her. She always made me feel like I didn't measure up and I gave up trying to convince her otherwise. I used to go over for Christmas but she went out of her way to make me feel like I wasn't wanted there, so I stopped going and Carl went with the kids. Just because she was being nasty to me I wasn't going to stoop to her level and not let her see her own grand-kids. As the kids got older they did not want to visit with her too often because she criticized the way they were dressing and since their grades weren't all A’s she let them know she was disappointed and blamed me for not pushing them to do better. The more she bad talked me, the more my kids would throw a fit when their father took them to visit their grandparents. Of course, being the mother in law from hell that she is, she thought I was to blame for the less frequent visits and she complained to Carl every chance she got. Not once did she consider that maybe her grand-kids did not want to be around someone so negative and cruel. When my father in law suffered a major stroke last year, Carl wanted to help them out and moved them both into our house. It has been hell for us ever since, she is driving all of us insane. She tries to control my kids and doesn't approve of any of their friends…they are looking forward to the day when she finally leaves, as am I. Nothing and no one is good enough for this woman. She criticizes everything I do, including how I run my house which is frankly none of her business. If it wasn't for me caring about my father in law’s well being, I would have never agreed to this or she would have been out of here a long time ago. She is slowly but surely starting to take over MY house. I think she forgets whose house she’s in. She wasn't happy with my cooking so she is now in charge of cooking all of our meals. She cleans up after I just finished cleaning just to spite me. There is no pleasing my mother in law from hell and I no longer care to try. I gave up a long time ago and I am counting down the days till my father in law is stronger and she is out of my house. Every day is a struggle and I actually look forward to going to work now and dread coming home knowing she is there waiting to ruin my day. Frankly, I don’t know how much more meddling I can handle before I kick her out. She should be grateful I let her stay here after the way she treats me and she totally deserves the title mother in law from hell. I hope the end is near for all our sakes! |
Who's Online
- 1 member
- 8 guests
Comments
I was keeping mine a surprise!
You've got to put a stop to it at once - especially if she is being a negative influence in your home. She'll come around - shes just pushing your buttons and your letting her to do so. Confront the bully once and for all.
She will be gone someday, and I'll have the satisfaction of knowing that in the end I won. She still hates me, still criticizes me, but it's less often and when she does, I acknowledge it, write it on a post it and tell her I'll work on it. Then when she brings it up again, I show her the post it and she shuts up.
Good luck to you! You'll need it!
I've never done nothing wrong to the man…I guess he just hasn't liked me from the start. I feel the same way toward him though. I try to stay away from his dad as much as possible..if you ever wanna talk email me lucki031986
She is changing who your children are and abusing them. How much do you think it hurts your kids to see and hear how she treats you. They know that you and your husband are hurting, and that damages them. She is also affecting, their future relationships. She is evil, and evil will bring anyone down. Your family needs and deserves peace and harmony. NOW
My father in law told me to pack everything up get a uhaul and move into his house. They lived in a huge old general store with lots of rooms and the only room we shared was the kitchen. 2 years living there has caused nothing but heartaches and headaches.
My hubby's parents HATE me and since moving out on our own (we bought a house) in July of 05 his parents have yet to come down here to visit. Needless to say they have four grandbabies with a 5th one on the way and haven't seen our twins that were born in Feb 08. The last time they seen my older two was xmas of 05.
Well things got a lil hairy between me and the hubby and he ended up leaving me in begining of 2010. He since than has come back and realized he needs me and the kids. I also told him to choose either me and the kids OR his parents. I couldn't be happier then I am now.. and his family has already lost his son to ME but will never see our kids for long as I shall live.
I would never let anyone get between myself and my wife, ever. He better wise up, or some great guy like me is gonna steal you...then he can go live with momma.
I just read about your situation. You know, the problem with strong minded people is that they never seem to place themselves in their neighbor’s shoes when dealing with matters. They are so convicted on how they feel about things that they overstep every social boundary whether it is somebody from the outside or within their own family.
So, “how do you remedy someone who is self-centered and one-sided? Well, before you do anything the first thing you could do is remind yourself that if it were not for your Mother-In-Law, your husband would not be here. It is hard to believe this woman brought forth a son who turned out to be a loving husband to you. But that is the truth now matter how mean she has been to you or how you feel about her. A fact is a fact. If not for her, your life would not be as it is right now.
Placing that aside for a moment, now you have to deal with someone who is basically a spoiled rotten child in an older woman’s body who has yet to learn social graces. That is a monumental problem seeing how she has spent most of her life pointing her finger at other people and not spending enough time to focus on herself.
I strongly believe that prayer is the most powerful tool we have right now for the difficult times that we are living. Pray to God that your Mother-in-Law’s heart changes before she drives you crazy. Pray that she is blessed with the grace to see the errors of her own ways before she sees the errors of your ways.
The other thing you could do is tell you want to take her out to breakfast or brunch (just the two of you), and talk to her about how you have been feeling. Ask her how she would feel if somebody came in her house and started dictating. Ask her how she thinks that would affect her.
Tell her you are happy to help out in this circumstance because you love both of them, but that this is your house. She may not respect that because you are placing your authority over her, but the situation dictates that.
She is in your house and you are the rulers of your house! If you were in her house than you would respect that, but that you expect the same. Life is a two-way street. Remind her!
She NEEDS to be told and communicated to. If she does not like it and bucks the bill than at least you can say you tried in the most loving way possible to deal with her rude behavior towards you. What is the alternative? There is none that would keep you out of jail.
Keep praying to God that your Mother-In-Law has an Epiphany! You know, like Ebineezer Scrooge did. Then sit back and watch God’s intervention and work. Never stop asking Him to help bring her to the light. He will! That is why we are here. We’re all supposed to be light-workers, bringing our family, friends and neighbors to the light.
What a wonderful time to make this change. Change of heart. Not controlling, but working with each other in love to understand each other. It's not easy to do that, but you’re a Mom. You know all about struggles.
I hope there is one thing I’ve said here that helps. God bless you and I pray for peace and good health in your family as you deal with this situation. Know that better days are ahead.
I met my husband quite like you did. We met at work. Fell in love, he finally asked me out and within a year of dating we were married. My mother in law dislikes me so much she is helping my husbands ex wife take the kids from him. She hacks into our computers and does things with his ex wife and the kids and tells the children not to tell us. It is very frustrating.
Hang on. You are doing what you think is right and in the end you will be rewarded.
Everyone tells me that I need to amend things with her. I refuse. I will not be bullied and I don't think you should be either. You should not feel uncomfortable in your own house. That is YOUR house. Those are YOUR children. Keep standing up for what is right. I'm with ya girl, if you need anyone to vent to. Believe me, I'm on a list of angry daughter in laws.
Miri
?
?
Be thankful that you have someone to help and offer advice since they've been there and know how to do things. Its a tiny price to pay to just listen and let her say her two cents and let her feel happy to think that she's helping than to not have her at all and have your husband feeling lost without a mother around. Just think about it.
RSS feed for comments to this post