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| Drunk Wife |
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| Addictions | |||
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Now, she has a job that she sometimes has to travel with and she gets stressed out. With all this stress and pressure my wife has turned into a bona-fide alcoholic. She is now always drinking. She drinks when she travels and is with clients so when I pick her up at the airport I can tell she had been drinking. But, she is never what you call so-called drunk. She still has her binges but they are weekly now and sometimes twice a week.
Well, one more thing before I go I will just say that I love her and will stand by her. She has embarrassed me enough and cannot anymore. I could go on with other stories but won't. However, I want to show what addictions will do to a person. She is beautiful, smart, loving and caring. And her personality does not change much from sober to drunk, at least I don't think so. Maybe it is because her non-drinking leads to depression and she stays drunk so much that her dependency has just increased. Anyway, that is the life I live. Oh, I did not mention there are no children involved. |
She sometimes gets wasted at home and just passes-out on the chair or the couch. It can get tough being tolerant with an alcoholic. She is not mean or nasty when drunk, just funny and very sloppy. You have to pick-her up off the floor, and see that she makes it to the car without falling. She spills things on herself, and even wets her pants when drunk. This has become a more often occurrence. Either she will wet the bed, pass out in a chair or on the couch and wet her pants and the sofa. She even once wet herself while we were in our seats at a football game. I had a hard-time getting her home that night. Who's Online
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She may act as though she is fine and even believe it because her mind is so clouded by the alcohol. I believed that about myself until I had some time sober and realized how much harm I was actually doing to myself and to those who loved me. It is a scary disease but one that can be managed. She will need support. Not to enable her in any way, but to show support by love. Attend AA meetings with her if she's scared to go alone. Perhaps if you drink, stop, don't have any around as to show your support for her to stop drinking. Attend ALONON.
The effects this problem has on the family is so great. It will be a hard road for you just as much as it is for her. If not harder. My husband had approached me about my problem on several occasions. But until I hit my bottom I didn't receive it well. Treatment was the answer for me and I attend AA as well now. It has saved my life. I can only suggest to you to not give up on her. Chances are she is in so much pain she doesn't want to face it or even know how. Look into some treatment centers and talk with some people there to get some advice on how to approach her. She may not need that extent but she may. For you to have done the research a bit before coming to her may help her to see your really coming from a place of love not blame or anger. You may very well have anger but that is not as important as her life right now. That can be worked on later.
No one wants to be accused or told what to do. Especially someone who is drunk. If she is truly an alcoholic the problem is more than likely going to get worse without some sort of help. It will depend on if she is willing, and if your ready to give her the support she needs. You will need support too. I can't imagine being on the other side of it. Knowing the pain I caused my husband and family because of my drinking is a reminder of why I can never pick up a drink again. It's not always easy but it can be done. Stand by her if you can. You may be the only one who can get through to her. You may be the only one to suggest getting outside help. It's worth a try. Life for this alcoholic is so much better without alcohol. Be strong. I pray she gets the help she needs...
If I were you, I'd start by asking your wife to go to an AA meeting. (And perhaps you could go to an Al-Anon meeting.) By your wife going to a meeting, and perhaps hearing some personal stories, she may realize she needs help, because her next step really should be treatment. You stated she is working, so I assume she has health insurance. Legally she should be able to take a leave of absence under FMLA to complete a medical treatment program, either in-patient or out-patient. As her husband, be prepared for this. She's going to need a LOT of support from you. She's come to depend on alcohol, for whatever reason and if she agrees to quit drinking, she's losing that 'crutch', and she's got to have something to fall back on -- YOU.
Be prepared for her to possibly have some set-backs because hey, no one's perfect. Show as much encouragement as you can, but stay strong yourself. Set a zero-tolerance policy. Don't fall for the 'oh, I can still drink, I'll just have one or two' line, if she tries that. Oh, and if you're a drinker at all, consider quitting entirely yourself as well, or at least obviously do not keep any alcohol in the house. Your wife's health is seriously at stake here - I'd be surprised if she doesn't already have some serious liver damage. Think about that. Tell HER that. If she keeps this up much longer, she could end up on a liver transplant list... or in jail for a DUI, in the hospital for alcohol poisoning, kidney damage, brain damage, broken bones from falling/tripping, etc.... I don't know what else to tell you, except I wish you and your wife the very best of luck. You're facing a monster, and I hope you both can defeat it. I really do.
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