Story Response to Living in Pain

You are very lucky if you are only taking Vicodin. You really don't know how lucky you are. I too, was in an auto accident some 17yrs ago. I was rear-ended by a 16yr old girl in a hurry, not paying attention, after leaving school one afternoon. She rammed another car that was pushed into me from behind. It did less than $200 in damage to my car. I finally had over $250,000 in surgery after I could not walk or carry my infant baby when I finally got operated on. I thought my Dr was a good guy but he turned out to be a real moron. He was the best I could find at the time in Delaware.

I later heard that he bragged that he was a "marathon surgeon" in the operating room and could operate with little or no sleep, but he was just a man with an over inflated ego, and a plain old neurosurgeon to others. (Had I known what he was really like, I wouldn't have let him operate on me at my expense.) My Dr cut my spinal cord and my lungs collapsed during the surgery. The surgery was to take 4-5 hours but instead, took over 15 hours. I woke in pain with my wife pressing the patient controlled analgesia (PCA) button (until I passed out) as often as it could be pushed into my veins for my dose of Dilaudid. (Aka -  Hillbilly Heroin) Previous to the surgery my Dr was giving me 200 4mg tablets of Dilaudid a week for the pain. (It is one of the worst drugs for addiction – probably only second to Fentanyl). 

I also woke up with permanent nerve damage in my right arm from being in the "face down" surgical position for such a long time. The nerve in my arm was pinched from his marathon surgery. The Dr never would admit to making any mistakes - even after I sued him and my insurance company (Nationwide Ins Co.- AKA -"Slow Pay Or No Pay"). During the surgery, he also did a "Fusion and Fixation" procedure, placing titanium rods and screws in my back at L3-4, L4-5, and L5-S1 with fusion (bone grafts) between each of the vertebrae, as well as removing the herniated discs.

I could not walk or even get out of bed for over 2+ weeks while in the hospital. Finally after 6 weeks, I was sent home in a back brace. I was led to believe that it would be 4-5 hours of surgery and then sent home in 3-4 days. After lying in bed at home for over 3 weeks, I began to go to my businesses to collect money and make the bank deposits. I barely was able to do that. It was a struggle and my father had to drive me because I could not drive myself.

After a week, I came home one day and was getting back into bed when my wife came up to talk to me and noticed puss running from the bandage over the wound in my back. She called my Dr. and he told her to bring me to his office so he could examine and drain the wound. Within an hour I was in surgery again, to re-open the wound all the way down to my spine for a debridement procedure to be performed 3 times a day for the next 6 weeks to fight the "MRSA" (Methicillin-Resistant Staphylococcus Aureus - AKA - Superbug) infection deep in my spine and the resulting sepsis and blood infection.

A debridement procedure is defined as: "the surgical removal of lacerated, devitalized, or contaminated tissue." For those of you who don't know what debriding is; it is done for a deep wound (Ex. Gun Shot, etc.) that MUST heal from the inside out. The wound is usually cut and cleaned down to "good tissue" or scrubbed until it bleeds, is flushed with copious amounts of sterile water, and is packed with yards of gauze and then bandaged tightly. In the healing process your body begins to grow into the gauze. When performing the debridement, the gauze is ripped out, again looking for the flow of fresh bright-red blood (a sign that the infection or "bad" tissue is cleaned out), the open raw tissue is scrubbed again until it bleeds, is flushed, and re-packed and bandaged.

The cleaning of a deep wound is extremely painful especially when scrubbed and in preparation for the process, I would push the PCA button (Patient Controlled Analgesia) as often as I could, to prepare myself for the procedure (Up to 2 hrs prior, during and 2hrs after, 3 times a day for a total of 12 hours each day) It was delivering an incredibly high dose of liquid Dilaudid automatically, in addition to my push every 10-15 minutes. (That was a lot of drugs) I was also receiving Vancomycin delivered via a "PICC" line inserted into a vein in my arm going directly into the "Superior Vena Cava" of my heart. Vancomycin is a very heavy duty antibiotic that is usually a last resort drug used to save a life.

I finally went home with my PICC line in place to deliver the Vancomycin intravenously for the next 4+ months while still receiving the 200 Dilaudid #4's a week for pain. The PICC line requires a nurse 3 times a week just to check it to make sure it is not clogged and to prevent infection. After 2 weeks at home, I began to have a reaction to the Vancomycin and landed back in the "ER." I was then placed on "Clindamycin," another very strong last line of defense antibiotic. Life was good as far as I could tell with the antibiotics for a while. 2 weeks later, I came down with "Full Body Rash" and ended up back in the "ER" again. I met with the Infectious Disease Dr. who told me that if the next drug, "Bactrim" did not work, I was going to die. I was in my early 40's, with 2 babies and 3 other small children, and my wife depending upon me to recover while being "strung out" on pain killers. I was trying to feed and take care of my family - wife and 5 kids, 2 businesses, home, pay bills, mortgage, etc... with no help from anyone.

I took the Bactrim through the IV for another 4 months and orally for another 14 months. I did a "Cold turkey" from the Dilaudid and MS Contin and almost died from the withdrawal alone. My diagnosis now is "Failed back surgery" and I am currently wearing 5-100 Mcg (micro-gram) Fentanyl patches. Fentanyl is a synthetic drug that is approximately 80 to 100 times stronger than Morphine. I also take 600 - 30mg pills of Oxycodone each month for the "breakthrough" (acute) pain that is above and beyond my base level of chronic pain.

As to the issues pertaining to addiction - there are currently 2 schools of thought. Obviously your body and mine are addicted to pain meds. This is for me a physical addiction. There is a strong argument that people in chronic pain - are NOT addicted to pain killers. If I do not have my pain meds, I will go through withdrawal but when it is over, I am simply in PAIN - I do not chase, nor do I want, the high. I have too much responsibility. If you display addictive "drug seeking" behavior and commit crimes to support your habit and "doctor shop" for your meds - then you are chasing the high rather than dealing with the pain. This is considered a "Mental" addiction and is the hardest to break. Going through a detox or withdrawal under a Doctor's supervision at a Re-hab center and learning lifestyle changes are in order to break the physical and mental addiction and getting your life back on track. There is no short or simple way to do this.

I "need" my meds (physically) to be able to get out of bed in the morning so I can go to work and support both my employees and my family. If I do not have my meds, I am in so much pain that I cannot even stay in bed. The Fentanyl patches are heaven sent because they provide a lifestyle free of the highs and lows (or peaks and troughs) that are experienced when trying to remember to take pills on a rigid schedule. The medicine is absorbed through the skin and after the therapeutic dose is achieved, there aren't any of the peaks and troughs (roller coaster ride of pill popping) typically experienced with pills. The patient must only remember to replace the patch on the pre-determined day.

My ex-wife also did all of the things your wife is trying to do for you. Understand that she does not want you to be "addicted" but she also does not want you to be in pain. Either you need to convince her that you need your meds (Have her speak with your Dr so he can intervene for you to justify and explain the necessity) or you may have to part ways. Very few people that do not experience severe, chronic pain will ever understand what you are going through. I suspect that if you are on Vicodin (A truly mild pain reliever but none the less addictive)  over time your back will heal on it's own, unless you need surgery.

Surgery has advanced remarkably in just the past 10 yrs, becoming minimally invasive with relatively very short recovery times. Shop around for as many 2nd opinions as your insurance will allow, before you decide to go under the blade. Try to get a general consensus of the problems you have and the options available before resorting to the knife. Your Dr will put you through a battery of tests before even suggesting surgery.

Count your blessings - you have a lot to think about. Good Luck!