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- I Married a Mama's Boy
I am very sorry to say but my story is exactly the... - Bad Experience with a Catholic...
If you are intelligent,tal ented,independe nt mind... - Completely Sexless Marriage
My husband and I have been sexless for 45 years. O...
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We got married, bought a house, and had a beautiful daughter. I consider myself to be a happy man and our relationship is good. No one knows she's into girls. She's actually the one that points out all the good looking ones when we're out together. I don't get jealous because there's no need to, she's with me and she always comes home to me. Joanna was raised catholic and her family would flip if they found out...they would probably disown her. Only a couple of her long time friends, actually the ones she messes around with know the truth besides me. It's not really something that needs to be unearthed and broadcasted to the world.
I came across this site and after discussing it with my wife I decided to write this to see what kind of response we get. I'm not using her real name and we're both curious to find out what people have to say about our arrangement. |
I mentioned this to someone I work with and he was surprised that I was fine with my wife having sex with women. I don't consider it cheating because she's not having sex with men. He wanted to know whether I ever joined in and the answer is no. I have no desire to be with any other woman than my wife and I would never cheat on her. I love her too much. She fulfills all my desires and I don't need to look elsewhere.Who's Online
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I am ok with her being bisexual, but I do admit it makes me uncomfortable if she were to have sex with another woman and I couldn't be a part of it or at least watch. I know this makes me sound controlling or insecure, but I'm trying to overcome these feelings and fully support her sexuality, as I don't want her to eventually do something behind my back. She has never come to me and said that she wants to have sex with another woman, although she assures me that if it came to that she would talk with me and let me know upfront. I believe her as this is consistent with her personality and past behavior.
For men in my situation, how do I overcome my insecurities? For bisexual women, are my insecurities unfounded and just a result of male ego?
I believe you and your wife need to do some soul searching. Other than the question of what this does to your relationship with each other you will also need to ask yourselves what this will do to your child in the future.
Next issue is what you believe (faith). If your wife was raised Catholic does she still follow that belief system? Is God a part of your lives today?
If he plays a role in your life as I pray he does perhaps you should go to the bible to find the answers you seek. The fact that you posted on here is proof enough that you question what is happening. You wonder if what you are doing is right, even if you say all you want is other people's views.
In the end.... your relationship is between you, your wife, and God. I will pray that you find peace with God and what he has planned for you even if this situation is it.
But the day she wants to also share her mind with another woman and form a relationship is the problem. Then it would be cheating and I know we are probably done. But that is the chance I take. It can happen. You never know it might.
In the meantime though I will continue to roll the dice because this is the most amazing relationship I have ever known. Having your wife or girlfriend confide their inner most secrets especially about their sexuality is incredible. And likewise being supportive instead of controlling or demeaning towards your significant other makes them appreciate you above all else.
It seriously makes our relationship so strong and brings us so close together it's incredible. The truth is a relationship with openess and honesty will always last a lot longer than a relationship where everyone is hiding their true emotions and desires from each other.
Me and my wife are happy for almost ten years now and show no signs of stopping. If the ride suddenly ended tomorrow I will hold no resentment. This truly has been the greatest, most exciting time of my life.
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If she is going to someday leave you for someone else (a girl or a guy) it will happen for reasons far beyond the fact that she had sex with them. Lasting relationships are not started with, or built on, sex. She could just as easily meet someone at the market, or at work, or in the neighborhood.
Are you supposed to keep her away from contact with everyone else in the world just so that she will stay with you? Get real. She married you because of something special between the two of you -- and it almost certainly wasn't because of your sexual prowess. People who think that controlling your wife is the path to a long and happy marriage are doomed to be single or repeatedly divorced.
If you want happiness then explore the mind of your spouse and try to understand what really makes them tick. Being a part of a successful marriage does not entail trying to isolate your spouse from the rest of the world.
How would you feel if one day she came to you and said she wants to leave you for one of her girlfriends? It is possible you know. You allow her to sleep around but it's okay with you because it's not with men. I think you should ask her to stop and if she refuses than you should rethink your relationship.
Both couples feel that this type of situation actually brings them closer together. As far as I know neither of the husbands has ever had sex with another woman (since being married). Neither participates in the sex between the wife and the other woman. However, one of the husbands has watched on a couple of occasions.
I think that your relationship is not as uncommon as you may think. Many women have a natural attraction to other women. The key to success in this type of situation is for the husband and wife to have a relationship where they truly understand and care about the other.
Unfortunately many couples do not truly share their inner most thoughts and feelings. A "surface only" relationship will not allow the type of arrangement you have with your wife. I applaud your relationship. I wish more couples understood each other at the depths that you have achieved.
Have you ever asked if you were to be with someone else sexually would it be o.k? I just think that if you make vows to one another that you should repect those vows, and if you can't then why get married. I also think your in denial and setting yourself up for a fall, to get hurt. People we love most can surprise us and hurt us the most sometimes. But I still wish you the best, peace and love to you.
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