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Dirty Dancer PDF Print E-mail
Story by Sonya
Secrets

 



I ran away from home when I was just 15 years old. The reason why I chose to leave is because my father molested me since the age of 7. I ended up telling my mother about what he did to me when I was 12, but she didn't believe me. My father denied ever touching me in an inappropriate manner and told her I was lying. She believed him over me, and the abuse continued until the day I decided to run away.  

 

I planned on packing up and leaving for a while and I  had it all figured out. I moved in with my boyfriend and his father but things didn't work out between us and I had to leave. I'm not proud to admit this but I stole some of his money and bought a bus ticket to Pennsylvania. I wanted to get as far from my parents as possible because I don't plan on seeing them ever again. I hate my father for robbing me of my childhood and I hate my mother for not believing me even though I never lied to her. 

Once I got to my destination, I had to put my fake ID to use. I bought it from a kid at school. I stayed at a crappy motel because that was all I could afford at the time. I looked through the wanted ads in the paper and found an ad for a dancer, I figured it was going to be in a strip club. I had no problem taking my clothes off for money because I heard strippers make good money. I went in for the interview and got the job right away with the help of my fake ID. I started my first shift the next night. I was nervous and scared because I had never done anything like it before. I just studied what the other dancers were doing and copied them for the most part. I couldn't believe I made over $200 in just a four hour work shift. I needed money bad and I wasn't about to apply at a store or fast food restaurant and make next to nothing. I couldn't depend on anyone's help and I did what I had to do in order to survive without ending up homeless on the streets.

dirty-dancerI can't say I really enjoy what I do, but it helped me to be able to get my own apartment and a car. I have come across some really seedy people since I've been stripping but you have to take the good with the bad. I've had a couple older men offer to take care of me so I wouldn't have to strip but I turned them down. I don't want to become anyone's personal slave ever again like I was for my dad. I have no intention of having a relationship with any of these men outside of work either. I have some regular customers who buy me presents and offer to pay my bills and rent but I 'm not interested in being their charity case.

I learned early on that I can only count on myself and I don't need anybody's help. I am currently taking some classes and I plan on doing something else with my life. I really don't want to work as a stripper for much longer.  I hope to one day be a veterinarian and in order to do so I have to keep saving my money. The choices I made weren't easy but I had to do something to be independent. I don't regret what I had to do to in order to get away from my father's abuse and I only wish my mother believed me. No one back home knows what I've been up to and I don't plan on sharing my secret with them. 


 

Comments  

 
0 #5 I can relatesweetjada 2010-12-30 16:27
I am glad you managed to do what you had courage to do. I wish that's what I would have done. I wish I could just let go. A lot of people said to me they're your parents forgive I just wish I never hear them again.
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+1 #4 INDEPENDENTGuest 2010-10-11 11:55
Everything happens for a reason. I can relate to a lot of what you are saying. The road is tough but keep a good head on your shoulders and you will make it. I agree stay off the drugs. They cost too much and will pull you away from your dream.

I am 23 now, and attending college and working. I had nothing, no one and now I have everything I want. I believe all of our experiences are a test. The strong minded ones will rise above the rest no matter what we have to endure... Keep on going!!!
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+6 #3 Mis-FiledGuest 2010-09-07 05:46
I think you mis-filed your post under "SECRET" when it should have been under "SUCCESS". You got yourself out of a bad situation at a VERY young age. You made a life for yourself and are working to improve. Maybe there were a couple of mistakes along the way, but we all make them, and it sounds like yours are easy to fix.
First, you stole money from the guy who let you stay with him. So? Send it back now. Write an apologetic note and replace the money, so they have no hold on your conscience.
Second, you left your mother. No one wants to believe the worst of someone they love, so please don't blame her. You should drop her a letter and explain to her what happened and let her know you are okay. Don't tell her where you are, but give her the story of what you went through and where you stand now. It's time that she knew the truth.
Third, and most important. Keep the end of your path in site. I have seen too many people who started out in a bad life that got so close to turning things around and then fell due to drug usage. Life is hard, your memories are unhappy, but there is no escape from them. Deal with them in your own mind, and then put them away. Drug usage is your business, but using them to "get by" will only hurt. (Sorry...I've seen too many dancers who got wrapped up in that scene).
NEVER give up that dream. This world needs more of us animal care people.
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0 #2 Been thinkin about thisGuest 2010-07-25 13:13
I was laid off from my job & haven't been able to find another - now I have started considering dancing. I have the body for it, I don't really know how to get started though.
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+3 #1 Ah, strong independent womanmoonie 2010-07-22 08:56
I'm sorry to hear everything you had to go through to become the strong woman you are today, but I wish there was more women like you. More women that want to be strong and independent. Women that don't want or need to depend on anybody else. But what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, :-)
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