"The man who pledged to be my husband was standing there looking like a drag queen"
Could that be because he looked so ridiculous? Obvious men, in dresses, are not something most people want to see.
"I married a Man not a woman!"
He's a man with a fetish.
"He claims this is just one part of him that he feels he needs to express because it's a strong compulsion and hard for him to fight"
Translated, that means he gets excited from dressing up, and as soon as he gets himself off, the clothes come off as well. He'll pack them away, hidden away until next time he gets the urge.
"I'm finding it difficult to be sexually attracted to him anymore"
Of course you don't feel sexually attracted to him anymore. Neither do the vast majority of women in similar situations. Most of the supposed women commenting on here are men, so of course they are going to say it's you that has the problem, and that you must try to understand his fetish.
"I desperately want to talk to my best friend about this but he made me promise not to tell our family or friends"
He made you promise not to tell? You caught him while he was dressed up looking more or less like a clown and he tells you not to say a word to anyone? I think telling all his friends and family is the only way to handle this. Full exposure is what he needs. By letting him push you around, it only serves to enable him and he will continue dressing up whenever he can.
This may sound harsh, but ask yourself - is he really worth it For you to put up with his secrets and lies? It might be best to file for divorce, and find someone deserving of you, because he certainly isn't.
Just some things to consider.

Most Gay men want exactly, what most women want.
A Tall Dark or Blond ruggedly handsome man, in a well tailored suit with expensive shirt, shoes and socks, they want them to be interesting and financially sound, Smart House, Flash Car and a love of the good life, the best of everything.
So don’t kid yourself that he is Gay, he is not pitching to gays, he is satisfying an inner urge to cross dress a form of escapism. He did not do it right he should have talked at length about ALL aspects of his life with No secrets or surprises.

I wrote this poem to share
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My wife is away for the weekend
and oddly the kids are elsewhere,
I am alone with her panties,
and just can't resist their allure.

I've seen them so silken upon her,
with gentle pleading they call for my touch.
I love her for more than her wardrobe,
though her panties entice me so much.

But simply they can’t leave the closet
at least with no blouse or a skirt,
and maybe some stockings or nylons,
and a wondrously soft undershirt.

Society says it’s not proper for men to be clothed in such frill,
but I don't want to wallow in men's dirty ways,
or bask in the stench of their swill.

Please ladies, please understand me,
You’re to be admired in every light,
God's gift to men is what you really are,
but your clothing is stronger than might.

I want to feel clean and free from men's will
but to do that I need to be like you.
Independently having a say so.
Free to make choices, but still
it is the only way, that I know to relate,
and to feel the acceptance it brings,
so I may slightly understand women,
and feel included in feminine things.

YES, I know it's a bit of a turn off,
for you to think of me wearing tights
I don't mean to infringe private female concerns, but you won when you fought for your rights.

With this shift in the balance of power,
what women were once forced to do
men will now do in submission to them
but truly are the clothes the issue?

The whole world is changing around us,
and every cartoon will suggest
that the more feminine man is the standard
and that he should be wearing the dress.

Where once men had imposed their comforts
for selfishly carnal desires ‘twas their want of control and dominion that proved they were mostly all liars.

High heels were designed with men in mind
for the discomfort felt in their stride
but women became so attractive in them,
that lust was controlling men’s pride.

So why do you ask would men do such a thing?
Well, women just do things to men,
clothed in such delicate loveliness
that’s why we want to be more like them.

We don't mean to shirk our commitments,
we love you with all of our hearts
but we’re just ashamed and we’re jealous
for we’ve noticed we’re missing some parts.

Please do not look down upon us
with despising indignant disgrace.
We just want to feel the embrace of your love
while we’re the ones dressed in the lace.

If women wear pants in the family
We will yield to them the control
We just want the feminine comforts
That come with the redefined roles.

We do not mean to insult you
But really when push comes to shove
We are merely withholding our weakness from you for fear you’ll withdraw all your love.

Right now I am wearing your panties
and would love to be wearing much more
if only ‘twas (our) little secret
I don’t think I could ask for much more.

If you could only try not to judge me
and permit this indulgent desire there’s nothing I wouldn’t do to bring pleasure to you.
Be it most anything you require
be it tight leash or a collar, threat of being exposed, or giving up fear of detection
I’d tell you the truth in a heartbeat.
To no longer fear your rejection

May I tell you the truth?
May I trust you?
In the hopes that you will not betray?
And tell all you know just to find out what degrading things others might say?

All that I need I can find in you
For you are the love of my life
And if you want control I will gladly swap roles and willingly I’ll be the wife.

That is why men dress like women,
And many men wouldn’t admit to secretly loving your closets for fear of you having a fit.

Hey, you guys need to understand that he isn't doing this for a reaction..it is something that he needs to do. He is definitely not gay and men who dress as women are usually heterosexual sex addicts. I dress as a woman and it is so exciting. My wife hates it but I feel so sexy. I am not attracted to guys, it enhances my sexual side and as adults we are all allowed to explore.

I found pics of my husband on his laptop in panties, thigh highs and a camisole. Someone is taking pics of him (don't know where) and he's emailing them to men. In the past, I have had reasons to believe he's bi - I don't like this, I'm not into this. Yes I married him and I believe in for better or worse, but he's broken his vows many times, and I can't accept this, either. I didn't marry a woman, I married a man. I want to be the girl. I'm no prude, but I don't like this.

Our 13 year old son doesn't know anything and I've tried to stay together for him, but I may have to leave. I don't know what to tell my son if I leave, but I've had enough of this. My husband always seems distracted, doesn't talk to me much, seems annoyed when I try to talk to him, he sleeps on the couch, etc., He is self employed, works part time also, and I pay all household bills (and creditors are always calling about his credit cards). He's distracted, focused on this, and I deserve better. I don't have to accept this - I don't think he's "exploring his feminine side" - he's emailing these pics to other men. What does that tell me?