When I first met this guy I saw somebody who had some drive and ambition. And a bunch of free gigs at local flea markets and RV parks. The kind of gigs where anybody who plays a guitar and can maybe sing shows up and plays for an hour or so FOR TIPS. He justified these free performances as “exposure” for the band, saying these freebies would translate into paying gigs. In my experience, free gigs are just that- they're free. You might get a hot dog out of it. If you're using the freebie as an audition, that's one thing. But expecting somebody to happen by and hire you based off these performances is equal to planning your retirement around the lottery. Yes, it can happen.  Don't hold your breath waiting for it.  But, I thought, some of the guys in this group are pretty good, so maybe this time it'll work.  Maybe.  Little did I know.

He claims to have been in the music business for decades, to be a published song writer, and to personally know several big names- something I normally take exception to. I HATE name droppers. I've played in bands that have opened for a couple big names, and usually there's nothing special about it. You go out and play your normal set. The big difference is you're on a pretty nice stage and you have true pros running your sound. But, you also have the possibility of having your sound sabotaged by those very same pros out of an imagined or real fear that you'll upstage the big name you're opening for. Just because a band has “made it” and perhaps has an album out, it doesn't mean they're any good. Recording studios can make any mediocre group sound like gods. But studio magic does nothing for you live. So many times a big name band is just another band... another band that MAYBE has some really nice gear. I see nothing special about somebody who says they're “buddies” with a big name. It only annoys me when people drop names trying to impress others. So when Mr. Music Biz Veteran started his spiel about the stars he knows and has dealt with in one fashion or another, all he did was make me view him with a VERY critical eye.

Our band was rather large, for a group aiming to perform in a highly competitive and limited market- there was six of us. Your typical bar usually pays anywhere from $50-$100 per band member per night- they usually don't like to go beyond $400-$600 for the whole band every night. On a slow night, some bars are doing good to make around $500- and that includes sales of whatever food they may offer. Factor in paying the bartender(s), barmaids, utilities and rent/mortgage, you begin to understand why a lot of bands are three or four piece. They'll work more often in more bars. Also, $50-$100 a night is only if you are GUARANTEED a set amount every night- if you're playing for the door/cover charge or a percentage of it, there could be nights you end up playing for free. It's happened to me before. And the guy putting together this band advertised for five of us and he wanted more.

He had purchased new gear and was quite proud of it. All high-end stuff, including a device that generates three-part vocal harmonies with just one vocalist. Some of us thought that was a bit much, what with five vocalists on stage. He claimed it was a necessary tool. It might have been, had he actually known how to use it. He was making a big push to do a show, something more than just getting on stage and playing songs. Which is all that's really expected of any band. But not him. He wants to get the audience involved. He wants us to wear certain clothes, and act according to a script- all for free gigs. The amount of time necessary to put something like this together is beyond just 1-2 rehearsals a week- especially for performances a little over a month away. His answer to this was sectionals. Himself and 1-3 additional members working out parts separate from the rest of the band.

Now, he placed a lot of stock in making rehearsals. So much so that he measures how professional any musician is by their ability and willingness to attend them. “The ability to give and keep your word”, is how he put it. But as everybody knows, even the best intentions can go wrong. When life issues and jobs kept band members from making rehearsals or sectionals, he would accuse them of not being dedicated and professional. He either didn't or wouldn't understand some of us have families and jobs that required other-than-normal (9-5) hours. He also felt everyone should be thankful and grateful for his “large investment” of personal time and money. When he thought somebody wasn't displaying the proper amount of respect and admiration for himself and what he'd done, they became “unprofessional and rude”. Most musicians have a substantial amount of time and money invested in whatever they happen to play. Somehow he came to believe he was head and shoulders above everybody else in the investment department. Myself and a couple others were starting to think we weren't putting together a band for us, we were putting together a band to support him and his show.

By and by, one of our guys got involved in a musical being produced by a local theatrical group. He couldn't make all our band rehearsals. Mr. Show Biz initially had no problem with this. Not until the show extended and our guy wouldn't be able to make one of the free gigs. Mr. Show Biz DEMANDED our guy bail on the musical. For a free gig with Mr. Biz's band. Needless to say, that didn't happen. Next thing we know, Mr. Biz has kicked the guy out of the band. When one of the other guys protested this action, HE was kicked out of the band. What, the rest of us don't have a say in this? So much for “equality” within the group. We were given lengthy rationalizations for these actions, mainly outlining the unprofessional attitudes and actions of the two former members. We also heard how Mr. Biz was “protecting” his investment. But, everything was okay. He has other musicians he can bring in. Two new members, two weeks out from a performance- this is NOT a good idea. Then another of us had his schedule change, and HE can't make every rehearsal. Mr. Biz kicks him out. Again we hear about the “investment”. But not to worry. He has two more musicians he can bring in. At this point me and the last original member have had enough. Mr. Biz was acting like a cornered quarterback looking for a hail mary. We told him “later” and made our own exit.

We have since reformed with all the band members Mr. Biz deemed unprofessional, plus a additional member to replace Mr. Biz himself. We have performed two gigs so far, with very good reviews. We have additional gigs on the radar, with a couple confirmed. We have also learned Mr. Biz is not who or what he claims to be. A couple of his so-called “well-heeled” connections almost had to be shown his picture before they knew who he was. So much for name recognition. And certain things that seasoned professionals could be expected to know, he did not. He couldn't handle a basic ½ step modulation on a well-known blues standard. He claims to be proficient with a number of instruments. Not true:

-He's a bass player who doesn't know how to set up his bass, or how to set his amp to get different sounds. A walking bass line was totally beyond him.

-He claims to play upright bass, yet he can't play a fretless bass.

-He buys a mandolin, and we had to show him how to tune it. Then he couldn't play it.

-He's a keyboard player, as long as the keyboard part is in the key of C. (pianists will understand that). The one time he tried to play a simple keys part, he had to be shown what a F#/Bb chord was and how it sounded.

-He can't play some songs on guitar without a capo. Capos are a tool for most players. For him they're a crutch.

-He has a custom Fender electric guitar, but can't make any kind of adjustment to it. Nor could he hear when it was out of tune.

Several times, when attempting to teach somebody a song, a couple of us would have to correct him because he was teaching the wrong chord progression. Then he'd want to argue with us, claiming, in one case, that he “wrote the damn thing, and this is how it goes.” We had to pull that song up on an iPhone to prove him wrong. Thankfully the banjo he was talking about never materialized. Almost everything Mr. Biz said turned out to be not true.

I wish when people place ads that they could be compelled to say exactly what they're like and what you can expect.

“Wanted: musicians to support an egotistical and narcissistic control freak. Unquestioned belief in any and all dubious claims a must. Free gigs/shows to start, possible paid gigs later. Professionals only (because I'm not) need apply. Be ready for multiple (10+) emails a day, with a requirement to reply to each and every one.”  Now that's an accurate ad for Mr. Biz. A true Narcissistic Personality Disorder (or manic/depressive?) candidate if ever there was one.